It's just the phase

I run with bleeding feet,
Breathing the unheard treat,
An urge for tears to show up,
Why this feeling is cropping up?
May be a sign of being an adult,
Emotions are being subject to cult,
Roller coaster spree is killing inside,
Chopping the veins to have him beside.
Gigantic headache & lump in throat,
Each day I slowly rot,
I know I cannot be his desire,
For he has plenty of pretty faces to hire.
As we laugh of at stupid jokes,
Somewhere the silent winds mock,
Weird this phase has become,
I wish I could call him my handsome.