Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life,
Its nothing more than a strife,
But i am surviving,
Just like the gentle bird in morning.
I am the diamond glints on the snow,
I am the wind that blow,
Even if you stand near my grave and weep someday,
Please don't.Because i will nearby you each day.
Numb heart at times fades the crispness,
Embracing the spineless thoughts of nothingness,
Mind sometimes ponder over weird lines,
Casting a bad spell over the life that shines.
Yet i believe life is worth living,
We begin walking only after falling,
Everyday can be different,
If you are willing to accept that nothing is permanent.

I dial my favorite number in the world so wide,
When you answer i feel like some part of me has already died,
Did we make memories only so we could  remember ourselves by,
Did i know that i'd raise my hand someday to say goodbye?
Miserable months up in front,so lonely i stand here,
But you seem too tired to even care,
With tears and tricks you manage to explain,
But did you ever realize it gives pain.
May be i just want to live for today,
Yet somewhere i miss you everyday,
For the girl-talks,movies,question papers,laughs and tears,
For being the best friends and sharing the greatest treasures.

"Perhaps in the end we all are left with reflections of black and white memories.."
At times the silence of days puts you in ease.may be because you know you can't do anything about it or may be its because you get used to it.you really can't jot down everything that really makes you to feel empty..as someone has rightly said somethings are best when left unsaid.you've got so much inside yet you can't pour anything out.not because you don't find any trustworthy person but because even if you'll let it out you'll still continue to feel the same.you paste various expressions to hide the emptiness within you and its not pretending..its GROWING UP.

All along there was this voice inside my head telling me to give up, telling me it's not going to happen but I listened to my heart instead, believing one day, it may come true. I guess that was all just wishful thinking. But now it's too late to take the good advice the voice inside my head gave me, and for some strange reason I don't regret it... Maybe it's because I'm afraid to give up hope.I am scared if i will give up hope,I'll give up on everything because it's the only thing I'm left with.

 

Drenched in the twilight,

Plucking the petals one by one,

Couldn't notice the arrival of dark velvet night,

Looking at the autopsy which cannot be undone.

Beneath the moonlight,
In the silence he smiled and wept,
Reminiscing his last breath in solace,
Embracing the everlasting coldness.

 

If we stand in the eye of calmness,

There will be no market for bleakness,

Every little joy will be cherished,

Even the wintry nights will be treasured.

Wishful Thinking

Dark are the ways of life,
Till the end we just strife,
Engulfed by the venomous surprises,
We barely look at the sorrows and cries.
Comfort we all are searching,
Our hearts are filled with wishful thinking,
Endless hope or hopeless end,
To every memory we forever get attached.
Past mocks down the smile of today,
Today offers worries for upcoming day,
Our mind collide with thousand thoughts every single day,
But the answers seem to be million steps away.
Secretly we feed upon the fantasies,
Detaching ourselves from the never ending puzzles,
Escaping from the realms of reality,
We struggle for self discovery.
No matter how deep we dive in,
Some traits are forever hiding,
Like the scent of pressed flower within the diary pages,
We keep adapting the changes.

 

 Sitting there in the middle of night,

Clung to the nameless pain so tight,

Tripping over the gift called memory,

Looking back at the journey to sanity.

 

Rambling of an insomniac

"Peter"
No answer.
"Peter"
No answer
It was already midnight and ann couldn't see her ten year old brother peter anywhere.by now tears had blurred her vision.all of a sudden something stroked her mind,she started to run faster towards the basement which leaded a way to a small garage.she twisted her ankle,and fell on ground infinite times,yet stood up every time and tried her best to reach there as soon as possible.she went to the open door ..calling for him again.. "peter" ..shaking with fear and sorrow ,she crashed down and bowed her head.
After long silence she heard the voice of the one she needed at that moment,the most beautiful voice.she looked up through her eyes filled with tears.she saw peter sitting on an old and rough tyre..
"Ann" he said softly.
Tears still falling from her eyes..she got up and ran towards him.. "hey,you know its 3:00 a.m and you should have been in your bed.i got so scared..what are you doing here?" she said worriedly..
It seemed he was lost in deep thought...he stared her for quite a long moment and whispered softly "ann,i wanna be with you..with mom and dad..with my friends...i don't wanna die"
Ann smiled and spontaneously gave a comforting reply "who the hell told you this crap?of course you'll be with us.you're not going anywhere.we aren't sending you anywhere.you know how much we love you"
Peter stood up and took a sit on her laps.. "but..in morning..in hospital...i heard doctor  telling mom that i've been diagnosed with cancer and i don't have much time...is it true?" he asked confused.
"Oh boy!he must be talking about someone else..not you silly!you're still a kiddo to suffer from this...now dump this stupid thing in some pit and give me a smile..i wonder where you get these thing to ponder upon.you're the best part of us,and if anyone ever dared to apart us,we'll screw him..right?..hi5 now."she raised her hand to give him hi5.
"promise?" peter asked softly.
"promise!!" ann assured with a smile.
he punched her hand..
"that's like a rockstar thing to do!" ann  spoke and both smiled..she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes at the comforting feeling.
When she opened them again,peter was missing from her laps.the eerie silence started to haunt her..."I am sorry...please come back..please" sick and torn...she broke down..tears spilled from her eyes again..and finally she started to cry harder.Hurt,sorrow,incompleteness,anger altogether were lined up in her heart..her mind was still craving for his image,and his voice was still hooked up to her senses..but he was GONE to never return.

 
Trapped in shackles of time,

There is nothing that rhyme,

Even when the sunshine hide,

Its the silver lining we confide.

 

Realization

Lost in the darkness,

She called her someone own,

The one above with highest powers,

The one who shuffle the cards of fate.

Her wet eyes looked at him with mixed emotions,

Anger,frustration,agony,plea for mercy,

She asked -Ignorance,hatred,loneliness,

Is this what all am i destined for?

With calmness in his eyes,

In his beautiful voice he replied,

"You are one of a kind,

Everything will fall into line,

With the passage of time.

Time does heal all the wounds,

But even time will leave the scars,

And yeah scars are beautiful too,

They remind us how we heal as we endure."

   

In the faint glimmer of light,

They hold the charisma so tight,

So closely they can be felt,

Goneby with the wax which melt.

 

Like the ink stains that cannot be removed,

The untamed magic of love can never be erased,

When one is marked with it,

Never it gives a reason to forget. 

 

Beyond the castle of worries,

There is a world where agony disappears,

So pure and beautiful it is,

But it needs beautiful eyes to see.

The butterfly may fly away someday,

Your smile will make me feel better in a way,

But there is a part of me which is cold,

The part which this mirror doesn't hold.

Despite of all my flaws,

You took me the way i was,

Comforted me million times,

When i wanted to cry till i feel no more.

You made my journey so easy,

I hardly remember what made me feel dizzy,

My eyes sparkled in wonderment each time,

How perfect your timings were.

You fought with the unseen attacks,

Protecting from the shadows trailing behind,

You always kept me safe,

When fears started to override.

 

 

I opened my eyes and realized that world is not same as before,
Each whisper of breeze fail to rekindle the moments i thought i would treasure,
Never expected that the time will come,
When you will too step back just like the rest ones.
Even though the friendship will remain vested in us,
But the affection would not be same as far as i see,
I understand change is always in trend,
And you too have changed my friend..

Super nice surprise.

While going through my older posts i found this one in draft section.i might have forgotten to complete it.i received cute awards from my favorite blogger mates in Jan. :)  

from ayu

                              

from ayu and shriti

and today,

                 

from shriti again.

Sorry for not following the rules coz i don't have plenty of time to work upon them and posting it so late.i hope you won't mind.i am publishing this post to thank two of you .thank you so much..i've also disabled the comments for this post because its not complete without the rules.  :)

love

-sunakshi

P.S - my exam got postponed today :( i don't want any of my exam to get postpone anymore.not because i am done with the preparation but i want these exams to end up soon.i have to prepare for my foundation exam too which are supposed to happen in june.wish me luck   :[

Love.never.dies

It seems like yesterday

When my patience got answered in the best way

I am thankful to the one with highest powers

For making us life partners.

We've been through hard times

Beautiful moments we cherished forgetting all the bad times

Whatever the season was

You have always been my sunshine man.

I still remember when terrible incident took you away

I couldn't believe and yes i still don't

You are far away yet so near

Your presence i feel in air.

I sit in my chair

 Pretending to read my book

But let me tell you a secret

Its your memory i am always hooked.

Lonesome tear do slip on my cheek many times

I miss you every time

Then i feel your voice in my ears

And a faded smile rest upon my lips.

Despite of melancholy i strongly believe

Somewhere in heaven we will certainly meet again

Because we are meant to be together 

Forever and ever and ever..

NOTE - Its just a fiction,i wrote months back because i liked the picture very much!!  :)

HAPPY HOLI FOLKS :)

I see the pale melting moon in dark night,
I stare at the single star shining bright tonight,
It whispers a melody which i never heard,
It mocks the unending chatter that plagues the mind.

That's me

I can't blame my destiny

If this is my reality

Yes there are mistakes i have made

There are things which can't be changed.

A silent smile rest upon my lips

I gently accept all my flaws

As a faint glimmer of understanding

Always stays in my sight.

When i lose my wisdom

I really don't expect anyone

There is always gonna be another mountain

And none would always come to see me.

I won't ever be anything

Anything except me 

Why do i care for those who don't know me

When they will never understand me.

I don't recognize what i have come to be

But deep deep inside somehow i could reach to inner me

I am still the same somewhere

A dreamer,a believer and a spectator.

She finally got the lyrics of the song,

The song which was deep inside her heart,

Her heart was so pure,

So pure she herself was. 

Random scribbling

I'll be out of here,

But will it be out of me ever?

This frustration is killing me,

My soul is finally on fire.

I want to save me from myself now,

How can i stop these sour thoughts of mine?

.My absence doesn't count,

My presence isn't noticeable.

Will any one ever care to think,

About the girl who used to wander here.

Melancholy personified

Even though i exist i am no one,

The numbness has taken away my soul,

I don't feel the pain,

I don't feel the happiness,

For heaven sake,

Bring my sanity back.

Yeah i am going insane,

I don't know whats this hollow feeling inside,

I don't remember when was the last time i smiled a real smile,

I don't know what's wrong or what's right,

Neither i find any reason to die,

Nor i see any reason to live.

Where the compassion is?

We born alone,

We'll die alone,

Nothing last forever,

Forever is nothing.

The relationships we cherish are just lie,

I,me,myself,

My family and my friends,

Isn't that what we always say.

What about others?

What about animals?

Where has the compassion gone?

Isn't it the thing which make us different from other kinds?

She is awake in the infinite cold,

Far away in her own world,

Working on her wishful dreams,

Where there is only laughter of her happy times.

Faint glimmer of hope

My hands are open to embrace the cold winds passing by,
I guess this tough time will soon fly away,
I have no idea how and when,
Not just smiles but laughters will accompany me then.
May be i am not sure who i am now,
May be i don't know who i'll be ,
But trust on this note of mine,
When i say my thirst to live never dies.
Yeah i started breaking,
No doubt i started stumbling,
I suffocate in the shadows at times,
I wander in silent screams many times.
Pure exhilaration is not what am i expecting to arrive,

I know nothing can ever stop strive,

Yet there is a hope for a real smile,

I guess something better would be awaiting on other side.

Unsaid script

The faint scent of time whispers something i don't recognize,
I fail to recognize who am i now,
I don't understand the reason for my existence,
I  barely recognize the reflection in the mirror,

Nor i know the reflection in the water,
I stumble and fall yet i fail to scream.
I want to live not just breathe,
I want to take my last breathe in solace,
Though my thoughts are scattered,
Though my life's dairy is messed up,
Yet i've this feeling deep inside,
Some day everything will be alright.
I might turn into ashes that day,
Nobody would get an excuse to curse me everyday,
I'll be in world mystery of which nobody knows,
Some call it heaven,
Some afraid and name it hell,
But it would be my final destination for sure.

Emotional outburst

Can you smile when you are feeling extremely low?

Can you lend your ears to anything which sounds good when everything seem to be so messed up?

Can you walk in a crowded place when all you want is a long walk by yourself?

Can you feel the real-ness when you're in between dream state and awake?

Does it matter what anyone would think about you when the only thing in your mind is that someday you'll die and turn into ashes.none would have an excuse to speak shit about you then,those who hated you throughout your life,would get no one to curse.you'll be free,free from every damn thing!

My thoughts are scattered,at times i find it really difficult to collect them at one place.i am pissed inside,i don't know why?wait.may be i know,err who cares!when your existence seems to be useless,and your life is just black and white it really doesn't taste so good.i've a bad habit of getting mood swings,and it awesomely appears on face, seriously this isn't a very nice thing.and i am not proud of it either.i really can't pretend to be alright when my life amazingly offers me hard time,and i feel as if i am breathing just for the sake of surviving,nothing more than meaningless breaths.i went out with my friends few days back,it was my best friends birthday,it was supposed to be perfect for her coz she turned 18,but alas!i couldn't be present mentally  though i was there with them.ah!chemical imbalance but overall it was nice,i didn't scream or broke anything atleast. :D i wish i knew this trick of veiling up my mood swings with different colors.

I don't know why the heck life is being so damn complicated or i am making so?and you know what,from past two or three days i don't feel like scribbling in notebooks.yep,may be because i don't feel anymore,i am not making random rhymes.is it a nice thing?to feel nothing?um may be yes,may be no.it helps when you are hated by majority.. and believe me this person,writing this crap is certainly hated by many. ^_^

Long post eh?

Thanks for bearing ^_^

Yep it is like a pearl

I know i've been missing for a while,and i've already given a reason for it :[ but nice thing is my system is working properly now and so my internet is back xD even though i won't be able to come regularly,but can certainly peep in sometimes xD


Anyways,i lately realised that this blog is no more 'unspoken words'.it's something more than that,

It gives wings to my imagination,
Here i break free from all my tensions,
When i feel low,
And see no place to go,
Here countless inspirations makes me smile,
It keeps my sanity alive.
It's like my most beautiful mansion,
It's like my best creation,
It's like my authentic healer,
It's like my all time supporter,
Here i weave serenity for my eyelids,
Certainly like a pearl in darkness it is.


So,the conclusion is, that i am changing the blog name to 'Pearl in darkness'. :)


I'll change the blog appearance soon.if anyone know any good site for designing the header and background,then please let me know.

Note

I know my blog is dead from quite a long time and that is because of my exams preparation.moreover my computer system is not working,posting through cellphone right now :( missing you all so much,i'll be back after a month or two...takecare ...hf

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

 But I have promises to keep,

 And miles to go before I sleep,

 And miles to go before I sleep.."

                                                 -Robert Frost

P.S-I don't like following copy and paste agenda but these lines are my favorite.so thought to share it with you all .

Good day! ^_^

Tragedy xD

There is a certain magic in your style,

You probably have got the sweetest smile,

Your kind words light up her town,

Your unspoken words takes her to heaven,

You are the one who takes her breath away,

Your voice provides her sanity,

You are her new family,

You are her destiny,

You are miles away,

That is a tragedy.

P.S-I don't know,if its a poem o' not.i wrote it randomly! xD

Life goes on..

It was nearly midnight.The chilly winds of  december month was making her to shiver.she was standing near window,gazing the misty dark sky,pondering over the 25 years she has lived.her canvas of life had all the colors,right from the extreme bright to the dull,which made her remember the journey till now when someone asked her in morning overall how your life have been till now.she cheerfully answered 'truly awesome'
In her childhood,she was adored for no reason,mommy's sweetheart and daddy's angel she was.she got all the things she wanted,she experienced the most beautiful time.she was taught that wealth is not everything,its the honesty,love,trust and care what counts the most.
Then her teenage arrived.life turned out unkind,every time she thought something good is coming on her way,Mr. bad luck came in her way,destroying the faith.The people she loved the most left her,she tasted ignorance,hatred,betrayal,uncountable humiliations.her believes and dreams got shattered.she decided not to believe on the one with highest powers,in angels who makes everything fall in line.she gave up on everything,she gave up on herself.she was living just for the sake of existing.then one day,she read an article in newspaper *Be thankful for what you have*
It started with eye catching line-
Do you think you are the only one who is suffering in the whole world?you are the only one who have experienced the worst of everything?the betrayals,hatred,ignorance,humiliations?..
She couldn't resist reading the whole article,she continued..
there are some situations which break us in such a manner that we give up on everything,we crawl back in our shell and lock ourself in fake sense of security,but there are countless people around us who too have gone through the worst,or who are going through the same.no word of wisdom matters in such condition,even we're mature enough to understand the thing,and we knows time blunts the edges of grief,yet we sit back and cry because we have got nothing to fight for.but life is an ongoing process,none has got strong hold over it.there are large number of people who are deprived of basic requirements including what a person needs the most i.e food,shelter,clothing along with love,care,concern.at least you'll be having some of these.be happy and thankful to the lord above that you're blessed with wonderful gifts of life and make yourself capable of helping those who need you.be true to yourself,that's all what matters.people will enter in your life,but only few will remain till end.there is even possibility that all leave,but have faith that somewhere there is a road mapped out especially for you.
That day onwards,she moved on.she recollected the pieces of trust within,and fixed the hope in place.
years passed...
She faced all the challenges with courage,and embraced every little happiness.
At the age of 25,she was the loveliest and successful lady,with most beautiful heart in the world.

P.S-just trying hand in writing fiction.your comments and criticisms would be taken care of.. ^_^

New year gifts xD XP

                                        Butterfly award from shri :)

Cute blogger award from Jonnalyn :)

 

Thank you so much both of you :)