And It's a NO for an answer

I've been told infinite times that I don't work hard for my dreams.I smile.I don't give a shit.I do my thing.May be they are right, may be they are not.Giving up has never been a trait which suits nor the life takes no for an answer.I was a bit upset.A thought I personally go by always is “Be the change you want to see” Like my tongue which flies around irrespective of authority, my hands too have a mind of their own.Hence the blog happened and so this post.What is the earliest memory you have of your childhood ? honestly, I always had a peanut size brain, so I can't boast much of memories but looking back I'm contended with the quality of life which i have lived.Not very often you've this luxury of having whatever you need instead of whatever you want and this is how we learnt saying “a young lady should always remember what family she belongs to." This is how i managed high school, distance learning, living in a different city sticking to own set of values, working part time.I realized how many times I might have hurt you, made you cry, took away your sleep at night, got you anxious, disappointed you and got you embarrassed. But Ma you are the best thing in my life and no matter how much people would say I look like you, my best compliment is when they tell me I am just like you despite of all the differences.I love your simplicity, i love the way you look so aghast when i get you an expensive gift, i love the way you smile with pride when i refuse to take favours from others, i love your shocked look when we go out dining at some fancy place and you see the price on the menu, the way you insist you don't need any more sarees and fancy footwear, the way you lovingly make our favorite dish and have that content smile, the way you try to understand the struggles and take a defense whenever someone points out our flaws and make conversation, the way you keep telling younger one to learn..i could go on forever Ma.I may not have flawless complexion and skill sets to quench but then at the end of the day I'd still be your one insane daughter you could laugh at infinite times.

In the end

Irrationality is actually my favorite of all because it makes one true to themselves and isn't it what is of utmost priority?Peace only.You are free to pursue what you believe in without having burden to prove anything to any four random people which are often dragged in conversation else the bubbles burst and reek foul smell of envy pouring the enormous poison rotting every bit slowly and steadily and like a coward one keeps living under dark clouds whining about the bad weather staring into blank walls and feel the purposelessness of life so intensely.This doesn't make any sense.Not at all.Not to me at least.I believe in seeking a path of faith to enlightenment of the Truth.If there is a mountain that can’t be climbed, know that the mountain doesn’t exist.Because when you die, you would be able to say that your life hasn’t gone to waste and you are not going away without doing anything for yourself.

Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder

I neither belong here,
Nor i belong there,
From madness to sanity cigar,
I have come this far,
From love to hatred,
Worthless, they all once stated,
Remorse buried in grave,
Playing game of life is favorite escape.

It's not about the fair skin tone or the layers of make up you put on but it's about the ability to have compassion and kindness towards everyone you meet.You hardly know their story so there's no point in judging their struggles.I refuse to be called beautiful. for i cannot bear the extra dose of negativity.I can be there assuring the support but then i begin to become ignorant once someone start getting on nerves crying every single time.You may say I'm selfish, I admit I am but then let it be.Who isn't?I'm not bounded by an obligation to entertain the irretrievably bruised souls who are beyond reach to be fixed.If i can't convince anyone that life is worth...I just try to remind them and if nothing installs in their pea size brain i quietly leave.All one can do is pray for them, as simple as that.I have had my share of struggles which I've learned to laugh at, prepared for bizarre to flood in.I take the ownership, chances, fun and no matter what, I won't stop my things for someone else sake.I live it all unapologetically.

Friend of mine poked few days back complaining about the looks which she has no control over.I mean this isn't something you can actually get on demand.Imagine if ever this thing worked how it would have been.Creators mailbox flooded with ultimate requests and infinite bribes to speed up the process.

There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others.I don't believe in dressing up reality.I don't believe in using make up (Of course conditions apply) to make things look smoother.Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in my own skin.The ones who loves you would still be willing to be seen in public with you, Not because of how you like but because of what you mean to them and if someone doesn't accept you for how you look like, Trust me they deserve to be left like a choice.

Ladies he cannot be your saviour all the time

Let's face it that the problem is that most of the women want a hero, The prince charming installed with the perfection.No matter how much you deny but it is true.As we grew up listening to fairy tales the prince charming, The saviour, The super hero has to be there to bring perfect ending.The problem is that the men are just as ordinary as women are.the illusion of relating the love life expectations to real ones somewhere brings a tremendous burden on men.In the life of every person, there is at least one person with whom we make a very deep connection. The connection at times is too deep, beyond our greatest and wildest dreams.Women are somewhere wired with the expectation of magic, absolute madness, The courageous person blessed with looks of brad pitt for bonus points.
Who is this saviour?Why so much obsession and fascination with the fantasy drama?Isn't it better to keep it in stories itself and create your own instead?Men are ordinary human being, The ones who are struggling to fulfill their aspirations, trying their best to make their life stable in every possible manner and meanwhile looking for love.You make him laugh and he makes you laugh.You share your stories and he share his.You follow your dreams and he follows his.You experience life through him and share the hazy mornings, eventful afternoons and nights.You both follow your own philosophies.Sometimes you both agree and sometimes you don't.Everything which builds the life worth living.It is okay that someone doesn't always fulfill your expectations.Desires can wreck your life.There is no nobility in obsessing over something that does not exist. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. No matter how perfect you would expect them to be, at some point or another, they will say something that you weren't expecting them to say, they will do something that, at the time, would be terribly disappointing, and they will sometimes be harsh and mean.Some things really aren't in our control. It is okay when someone your really love flips out on you or behaves a little irrationally.love is a funny thing. It turns it all upside down when you don't really expect it. It is like one day you  realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamt. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now.It is most important to notice that they are trying.It doesn't matter that they slip.What matters the most is that they atleast try not to slip. They should also be given the room to be a little mean, and a little rude, and a little harsh, because they are after all, just like you. They also deserve a break. They can also

break into a tantrum, and that is quite alright. Reality is what you allow it to be. Reality is what you choose to accept it to be.We tend to overlook things we shouldn't and look over things we needn't.Wouldn't it be better if the expectations are withdrawn and they're allowed to be themselves where you could carve out the extra ordinary out of him?Their care and their actions to prove the same isn't the best thing which is sole evidence of the fact that you are going to be his soul mate always.Life is never as complicated as we, ourselves make it.After all what will bring smile home isn't going to be diamond ring but it will be the extra work he spent in office to save little extra for it.what you really need to remember and cherish is the thought, and the effort, and the fact that they are with you.

Fixed myself

When you're done with the battle and everything else settles down, do you smile for the winning or whine over the chaos and loss?
As the smoke passes through the over flooded mind the lyrics of fix you by coldplay lingers somewhere.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse..
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

When the cold tucks the numbness within and you shut everything like a disoriented insane woman, It doesn't really makes sense.Just when i decided to go into hibernation mode i couldn't help coming back.Back to my self again.I'm my own source of motivation.Forget.Today is supposed to be a busy day ahead.Running for train, Merciless bustling crow, Rush hour, Skipping way through swarm of people, Annoying announcements in every 3 -5 minutes, Holding on to my bag, my resolve and remains of the fleeting sanity.


This journey's just the beginning.Playing this game called life is probably the best time pass ever.Skating. Sliding. Rambling. Stifling. I’m happy running on my track.A bit high on my heels.Forever.
 
And Regina Brett quoted right, 'No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.'

Randomly life

I've abandoned this blog and adopted reading books instead.Somewhere between scribbling the ramblings of an insomniac to shutting the doors for over thinking by picking up books, I grew up.I cannot decide if I'm still happy or I'm just not sad.Let it be..If you want to read, go on. But this person has changed, for good.

Waking up from a nightmare and seeing the clear sunshine fairies swirling around isn't something uber cute thing to witness.Well It has been monthly issue.To my surprise it doesn't scare me anymore.Some things go extremely bad and oddness fills mind webs decorating it with dash of emotions, We're all humans after all.The rain of broken wishes, the murky feelings.But look at me, I still have hope, Amidst the chaos of mind, may be someday a new staircase of dreams will be weaved..may be someday I would be able to speak louder the words i end up mumbling, For I've refused to be the one crying multiple shades of grey throwing the "Why me?" shit.There's nothing to run after. Everything I need is with me, and everything I have to get, is on its way.Sometimes, your heart convinces you to do things you despise off yet you do it and find happiness that lasts beyond moments.It is the death of our hearts that we must fear, as that is by choice. The death of our bodies is inevitable.Bad things happen, no one said life would be easy, yet out of hardship rises a soul destined to reach the stars above.

Exactly Just The Way I Like

I found something worth sharing.To make it little easy for you to finish it off as soon as possible without wasting any time I have compiled the Danielle Koepke's  quotes.

You don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings,ignores your boundaries, and "continues" to treat you in a harmful way, they have to go.There is a big difference between giving up and letting go. Giving up means selling yourself short. It means allowing fear and struggle to limit your opportunities and keep you stuck. Letting go means freeing yourself from something that is no longer serving you. It means removing toxic people and belief systems from your life so that you can make room for relationships and ideas that are conducive to your well being and happiness. Giving up reduces your life. Letting go expands it.Giving up is imprisoning. Letting go is liberation.Giving up is self-defeat. Letting go is self-care. So the next time you make the decision to release something or someone that is stifling your happiness and growth, and a person has the audacity to accuse you of giving up or being weak, remind yourself of the difference. Remind yourself that you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to live your life in the way that feels right. No one has the authority to tell you who to be or how to live. No one gets to decide what your life should look like or who should be a part of it. No one, but you.

Now you've read this you may flush the regrets just in case.. *Grin* 

I pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.Gratitude turns what i have into enough for me.

Sharing my favorite picture of a place to which countless memories are attached.4 people, Insanity on its peak and so much of fun.

Life never run out of reasons to make you smile.You just forget to look at the brighter sides.

By the way did you get your legend's personalized digital signature poster from twitter?Mention #ThankYouSachin and @BCCI will generate one for you.Thank me later.Here is mine xD

For Intellectual Magical Morons!

Title me as a “Grammatically Disoriented Person” because of my grammatical errors, I won’t stop writing or write even an inch less.I write for myself, and I would keep writing even if anyone reads or not. I will put up every little thing in my whiney blog and it should be none of your business because I'm not here to serve you best of the fictions.I'm not ashamed by any single thing i have jot down so far.
The canvas of my life fills up; I see the greatest painting ever.Eat well, pour out all the optimism, stay fit and die anyway! \m/

This space shall not die.

I changed my name to cursed muggle because i cannot get over from harry potter fever.No, I'm not a real fan, Probably because i haven't read the series yet.I might do that someday.Ah, That's the problem i think i have got time.Oh yeah, I changed bio too.Here it is

"My life malfunctions dreadfully, backfire spells, make strange decisions and emit shit from the wrong end."

They think i wrote this stuff to pretend how cool I am.Neat enough.Let them judge anyway.I'm not supposed to answer their assumptions.

What am i talking about?Sorry, I forgot to mention it is all about my twitter profile.See AdamantWitch  

I wrote something last night.I don't know if makes any sense or not but i want to preserve it may be because i might laugh later after reading this. 

Life has been crazy.I ran, walked, traveled, got drenched in rain.I dreamt, felt wasted, hated it all, broke down, tried, hung on, regretted, i picked a pace, i was slow though, i was made fun of, i laughed along.I socialized, got judged, threw opinions, drowned in self pity, corrected, loved, got changed, messed it all.Felt happy, sad, anger, miserable, hurt, tears, upset.I wished, prayed, framed hope, mocked, apologized, stood up, sat down, smiled.I wandered, felt lost and found my way.Somewhere between all this i learned to grow up.

Rough attempt to keep it alive.This space shall not die.

*Peace*

Bitterness

September 2011, It gave me scorching feeling in throat and attacked my nasal system.Yes, To experiment i tried that white stick  which you call cigarette.To be honest, I didn't like it so it didn't repeat.I felt like a patient who got an asthma attack just because of own stupid act.In short i hated it to the core.The ones who accompanied me continued to smoke.I smiled and left the place to order some pizza & pasta from domino's.Later they bragged the story may be because for some smoking is something that the world in general had to know about.May be because they thought it was cool enough to flaunt.May be a sign of progress to prove they were all grown up.

I wonder why people actually smoke and i guess i ll wonder that for whole of my life.Let me tell you If you're not a smoker, It is something less idiotic than insanity.I pity those chain smokers who die daily just merely for creating those fancy shapes which fly out of their mouth.

P.S. I like mint hukkah though but it is entirely different from this shit.  

♥ your journey.

Its your road.Your feet.Why then would you walk down a path someone else wants for you, settle for a life that doesn't delight you, live without passion and  charisma which you can shower?Decide where you want to go.Then start walking in that direct.Easy to say i know but even Rome wasn't built in a day.Just.Start.Walking.The rest will reveal itself.Always trust your dreams.They've chosen you as much as you've chosen them.If anyone ever try to make you dig a grave just Listen, Smile, Agree and Do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.Two things define you; The way you manage things when you've nothing and the way you behave when you've everything. *Peace* 

Your voice of reason

"You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you."
- C. Joybell c. 

I admit i know the feeling of not knowing where I am going but most of the times i love it because it is only when i look up for craziest things to explore and this begins a flight with no landing in sight. woha!that rhymed *laughs*  As i fly, I may not be sure of where I'm going but one thing is for sure.I won't regret that i didn't even try.Of all the crazy adventures I have had in life, I would have had more regret if I didn’t do them than when I did when did do them.

Spread your wings and let the miracles unfold.  

I'm just not useless, I'm phoneless too.

I wasted away my morning searching for a phone with a decent camera and found nothing because my price range is about 10k and yes, Being useless was an old story ; Now I'm phoneless too.Am i missing something?Not at all except the finalization of venue and time to meet two old friends.The best part is i have been so dependent on contact list that i really never cared enough to remember the number.I honestly don’t receive too many calls and when I do, it usually is of some importance.I have become one of those who won't be able to call family and friends if she didn't look up their numbers in cellphone first.FML seriously.Needless to say, it is only when we lose cellular phones that we truly realize how dependent on them we really are.Funny how the devices that make our life less complicated and stressful can also cause stress and complicate our simplicity.I guess it is not going to be that bad going without phone for couple of days or almost a week i guess.I'll begin the shopping once pitra paksha ends.

From a wanderer's shell..

I left the crowd. Now I'm where I belong or may be I'm not..I still am not happy though and somewhere i feel I'm stuck in shackles of time but I'm not sad either.Why this feeling?I think i have lost my mind.Shit.No.I can't even write a thing that makes sense and here I am whining.I'm more than this.I can laugh endlessly, I can go out alone just to taste new variety of food but not right now.Because sometimes its just good to sit and pour out random shit like I'm doing just now.

Here i go..

Caressing a crying heart of my own,

Far away from the scary clown,

Deep inside dwells the murder conspiracy,

The dull lines of poetry - mocking sanity.

A shadow longs for its existence,

Perhaps its the time to build the distance,

The winters are on their way,

Whispers unveil as i try to run away.

Ain't afraid of sorrow,

Even when the sky throws the whines of rainbow,

It's the mind which knows no boundary,

When everything ends in a stroke of misery.

 

Let the life weave its own story

So many dreams trashed, some newly printed, few turned out to be nightmares and well, a handful crystallized too, though am yet to understand the complete picture of 2013, or better yet I leave it at that.I may not have blogged regularly but i do have my share of memories which i have kept close. I found something I wrote few months ago, yeah i found it in drafts today.

I am not too sure how the things may turn up however am hopeful.Somebody pointed out today that i have become selfish for an unknown reason which she is not able to figure out.Things change, people change and i got to change too.sometimes it is hard to let the part of you go so easily, sometimes it is as easy as a calk walk but let's face the truth that nobody can be adamant enough to restrict the entry of changes in life.May be, it was for good back then, may be this is for best now.How i wish if life was as smooth as we plan it to be, no twist and turns to untangle, no crossroads, no tough decisions to make at every step but then where else we would get a gift of feeling of pride, happiness and achievement from?Looks like, there’s a lot to be learnt, changed, adapted and let the life weave its own story, who knows it may turn out to be an adventure too.

Accepting failure is as royal as celebrating success.

I am one of those person who find humour in worse situations.Trust me if i get an opportunity i might even end up joking about my death.Often this surprise to the people around me and then another tag of insanity is placed on my shoulders but then it hardly matters because i just cannot dwell in to the sadness throwing the Oh why me thing on every second person i meet.I seriously don't know if it makes someone a winner as the picture in right is shouting aloud but it is for sure that laughter is the cheapest medicine available at home.I rather work on the things i lack in.Though the depression sometimes takeover but then its okay, humans we are and its okay to let the analysis shower tantrums.I am though again bad at it..I end up watching comedy circus episodes. *You can kill me now* 


I found these beautiful lines on pramoda's blog which i feel i can relate to the most.

Celebrating success is as important as conquering it and accepting failure is as royal as celebrating success. Accepting a failure gives the desperation required to bounce back. Future belongs to those, who can think about their success on one day or other, even when they transfixed.You can read the whole post by clicking on pramoda's space

..See ya later. xD

Stay tuned for madness.

Inked.

I am officially proud to say that I finally crossed something on my bucket list!! 

Ok, to be honest I haven't checked it in forever so I do not really remember what is on this said list, but I do know that getting a tattoo was one of them, and BAMN!After taking ages to decide I got a text Rise teamed up with an abstract bird on right side of wrist on 11th August, '13 as a self gift on 22nd birthday Yes 25th july waved its wand and i turned 22 & to my surprise It didn't hurt all that bad.Some liked some didn't but what matters is i loved it. ^o^


It's true what they say, once you get one, you're going to go back for more.Though there are no plans for second one yet.

Hello, There.

Tell me a story, one with heart and hope. Make me want, and wish, and then sigh when it ends. Make it come alive for me.Share the link when you finish the same..

And yeah, by the way..

Do you believe in magic?

*Smiles*

 

False Hopes: The Busiest Year Ahead.

Time has sped by us once again. I look back on the night of December 31, 2012 and see myself gulping down an enormous bowl of ice cream with handful of uncle chips, Eyes on Immortal of meluha and brain relaxing on the bed of 90's songs. I was quite eager for the year to start, made a couple of life-changing resolutions and same old promises to tame the bulges which obviously had to fail.

From that night to this night it has been same old me, except an year older, Yes july waved its wand and i turned 22 finally and wiser and no longer much of a hopelessly optimistic idealist. However, still an idealist, I can never be a realist. It was going on well till it came crashing down and Fiiiissssh! It was like 'On your face, girl!'  Thank you very much indeed.

Since I always seem to contradict them, there's no harm in making some resolutions for the remaining 2013.Hopeless cases xD

August : Delete facebook account and get some life. xD *Done already, I hope i don't feel like reactivating it and pouring the shit every now and then*
September : Break up with my obsession on friendly terms.Yes, That has to be food.The tyres need to get a puncture xD
October : Find some bodies to hide. Who should I kill next? Hmm. 
November : |/*^_^|/* Attend any cool event.
December : Don't look back.Drop the shit behind and Just run forward.

*I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good*

What about you?Pour in your life updates or resolutions for few months which are left because after December we'll bid 2013 An amazing Good Bye *Dances*

This is the mid night post from nocturnal zone *3:30 AM and No sign of sleep* ..Signing off, hoping to update you next week...Oh wait!I forgot to mention I won a runner-up prize for the 'WeChat' contest held by Indiblogger. *Awesomeness* xD

Shubh Raatri, Shabba khair, Good night xD

It's Just Emotions Taking Me Over

Mitti jaise sapne ye,
Kitna bhi palko se, jhaado;
Phir aa jaate hain…
Itne saare sapne
Kya kahoon kis tarah se maine
Tode hain chhode hain kyun
Phir saath chale,
Mujhe leke yeh udhe hai… kyun

Dreams are like the dust,
How much ever I dust them from my eyes
They once again return…
So many of my dreams,
What can I say, I have,
Shattered and left behind… Why?
Yet they walk beside me,
They give me flight… Why?
  
...And in the end my sleepless eyes are busy dreaming.But then again, I dream of nothing. I stay awake at nights, holding my hands against my weak, weak heart who's afraid of weaving castle of so called deserving life.