Plethora of thoughts  takeover the mind,

Cascading the every bit that could shine,

Hatred appears to be one of a kind,

Even though heart knows love is divine.

Once the fight is over and once the dust's settled,The audience is long gone home and you just stand there alone.

In a moment of rage, hurt and stinging tears, the confessions tumbled out. No surprise. No judgments. Just soothing words. A few scattered comments.And then the advice: It isn't going to be rosy...You must settle with it.urgh !That's something already known and accepted.
It is rare that I have a heart to heart with any of my folks. Mostly the lack of deep conversation emanates from the discomfort of being judged on choices made.The more I was told to come to terms with the settling in part, the more rebellious I became.Partly, because I knew it to be unfair and partly also because an extremely rigid sense of right and wrong was installed in me long ago.It is probably something that never came from the surroundings. It came from within somewhere..and here i stand,pictured as strong person.
Often, I would question - Why can't the other party do it as much as I do it. These questions would be in relation to broken friendships, people who turned their backs in the moment of crisis etc.But then again that's one of the reason I've managed to become wiser.I know my feelings are valuable and there's no way anyone can ever mess up my self esteem..even though it needs courage and patience..and yes,i possess the very same.
Because on good days, they will stand by me, love me, hold me and be good to me. On bad days, there's no guarantee of anyone.

Relationships.

This morning i overheard my friend telling her boyfriend on the phone -"Baby, I'm so sorry,had gone to take a bath. Sorry couldn't inform you. Hope you didn't get too worried."
For a couple of seconds I thought I heard it wrong but the - jaanu, and the babbbiiiee and sorry that followed made my doubts disappear . I could have shot her or killed myself.
Actually,it made me wonder if this is what relationships are supposed to be like. And by relationship I mean - a boyfriend girlfriend relationship.A feeling of love in the relationship. some of you might think its a "grapes are sour" kind of feeling for me , let me clarify and tell you its not.
I personally hate the questions "would you date me.?". I simply don't like the idea of asking that question because its not like your asking someone to marry you. Why do u need to date a person to be liking that person? Why not just stick to confessing your love for each other. Its not like you will feel any less if the girl says no or vice versa.
Another thing i just don't get is how you can be informing each other about every single thing you do all day . I mean you have to inform him/her bout you going to take a bath,or that you sneezed or you are having lunch and go ahead to describe exactly what you had too. Trust me such people do exist and I'm sure 50 % of the people who read this, behave this way. They will get worried if their girlfriend/boyfriend do not pick their phone up or reply to their message every 30 seconds.Dude,leave your "better half" alone for a while, let them breathe. Even parents don't do that anymore.
Then their are girl friends- the crying kinds - who will cry at the drop of a hat. They will cry if their guy does not get time to eat food, or return their call in 5 minutes . How can you cry about this. Your boyfriend will not die if he skipped that one meal and has it ever crossed your mind that maybe he was just busy and thats why he couldn't call you.
"you cant wear sleeveless" kind of guys- these guys will not stop drooling at women who wear less clothes but the minute their chicks wear something that is sleeveless or maybe a skirt they will be the biggest jerks and scream and shout at their girlfriends for wearing revealing clothes Some women find this to be sweet and very adorable and a gesture guys use to show that they care. I think its just stupid. Let the girl decide what she wants to wear dude. she is old enough to.
Anyway, I got carried away and started talking about what annoys me. See, relationships at our age is supposed to be chilled out and relaxed . Simply, you like a guy and he likes you and you guys like spending time together. It shouldn't matter if you cannot talk all day or inform each other about how many times he/she sneezed. You need to have that trust to know that he she loves you and he/she does not need to tell you that every 30 seconds. In fact if you told them you love them once in a while it would mean much more to them. Its supposed to be a beautiful and happy feeling. It might be painful sometimes but in the end its worth it. (And no,I do not mean it in a perverted sense!) It need not be shown to the world , or bound by this "relationship" status. People can be in this relationship without even expressing to each other how they feel ,because its something they both understand.Saying sweet nothings to each other does matter , But over doing it is just painful.
I think the simpler it is kept the better it works.

Though with you i chatter meaningless gabbles i scatter,
Jovially,jauntily,jerkily i smile,
Roam around outcasting my own style,
Living at the most and laughing around merrily,
Pulling your leg till you start giggling heartily,
Yet escaping far away from this for a while,
Its the solitude with which my soul compile,
In the night when sky is full of star crew,
I hope one falls and my wish come true,
Phase which is vandalized,
Pass away like it was never fantasized,
Wishing i could trade my life to bring him back,
Gazing the stars and searching for his sign,
Looking around and feeling his presence,
Listening to walls which teasingly yells his memories,
Silently pleading "please come back dad",
Wetting the pillow and sobbing so hard,
Pondering on my own thoughts,
Tying the heart with soul in knotts,
I love when my heart consoles my tears,
Somehow it settle down all my fears,
I play the strings of my own silent symphony,
And prepare myself to work on building my own destiny

You Are Braver Than You Believe

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”
-Winnie the Pooh

Perhaps the most compelling quote ever credited to a portly cartoon bear.a montage of memories flashed before my eyes and something inside began to hurt.It was then that I caught myself subconsciously wishing things were the way I wanted them rather than the way they were meant to be. But then of course, I immediately gave it a second thought and realized what an ABSURD thing that was to be thinking and I scolded myself. Though I rarely intend to, sometimes I wish things had turned out differently… because I can’t help but wonder.So often I scornfully catch myself wishing for things I don’t have, or at least things I don’t have any right wishing for. Sometimes I wonder who I would’ve been, had past journeys been steered down different roads and headed in completely different directions. Sometimes wondering can get you into trouble because it’s often the case that you find yourself, by some mysterious form of inherent rationale, believing that you, or your life, would’ve somehow been better off, had things turned out differently. Perhaps that’s trite and pessimistic but I suppose this way of thinking is more common than we tend to gather or even realize. I try to remind myself how blessed I am to have what I have.I’ve been given and for the opportunities I’ve been allowed to seize. I am altogether undeserving, and thus, so very humbled.