Fixed myself

When you're done with the battle and everything else settles down, do you smile for the winning or whine over the chaos and loss?
As the smoke passes through the over flooded mind the lyrics of fix you by coldplay lingers somewhere.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse..
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

When the cold tucks the numbness within and you shut everything like a disoriented insane woman, It doesn't really makes sense.Just when i decided to go into hibernation mode i couldn't help coming back.Back to my self again.I'm my own source of motivation.Forget.Today is supposed to be a busy day ahead.Running for train, Merciless bustling crow, Rush hour, Skipping way through swarm of people, Annoying announcements in every 3 -5 minutes, Holding on to my bag, my resolve and remains of the fleeting sanity.


This journey's just the beginning.Playing this game called life is probably the best time pass ever.Skating. Sliding. Rambling. Stifling. I’m happy running on my track.A bit high on my heels.Forever.
 
And Regina Brett quoted right, 'No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.'

Saving the blog

 Recent updates  -

1. Laughed a lot.
2. In a happy place.
3. Have been listening to old songs on loop.
4. Haven't been sleeping too well.
5. Thought about doing something incredibly awesome and then looked at routine to laugh at it.
6. Reading 1Q84, Murakami is absolute love.
7. Book shopping happened.
8. Written letters.
9. Tried. Gave up. Tried to give up. Hung on.
10.  Believed.Still believing.

Randomly life

I've abandoned this blog and adopted reading books instead.Somewhere between scribbling the ramblings of an insomniac to shutting the doors for over thinking by picking up books, I grew up.I cannot decide if I'm still happy or I'm just not sad.Let it be..If you want to read, go on. But this person has changed, for good.

Waking up from a nightmare and seeing the clear sunshine fairies swirling around isn't something uber cute thing to witness.Well It has been monthly issue.To my surprise it doesn't scare me anymore.Some things go extremely bad and oddness fills mind webs decorating it with dash of emotions, We're all humans after all.The rain of broken wishes, the murky feelings.But look at me, I still have hope, Amidst the chaos of mind, may be someday a new staircase of dreams will be weaved..may be someday I would be able to speak louder the words i end up mumbling, For I've refused to be the one crying multiple shades of grey throwing the "Why me?" shit.There's nothing to run after. Everything I need is with me, and everything I have to get, is on its way.Sometimes, your heart convinces you to do things you despise off yet you do it and find happiness that lasts beyond moments.It is the death of our hearts that we must fear, as that is by choice. The death of our bodies is inevitable.Bad things happen, no one said life would be easy, yet out of hardship rises a soul destined to reach the stars above.

Take me ashore

His thoughts are like pack of cards, Life shuffles the deck and distributes, Few becomes his and rest of others, He play his hoping you will reflect them.That's what Vittaldas prabhu 's  How I Wonder convey, Blogger friend since 2009.This is a brand new guest post once again from one of my favorite blogger who is caught up in life cobwebs to visit the blogger lanes. Yay!Who knew facebook would be this kind.After constant laziness i gathered the strength to flaunt this lovely piece which vittal has allowed to share.This poem is dedicated to his soul mate, Kathy, on completion of 6 years. *P.S. My future husband please take a note to write one for me like this* 

Here it is.. xD 

I have set sail to land unseen

Starry eyed; but haven't been

Able to find the land of green

All I see? The ocean obscene

An intervention is what I seek

This journey makes me weak

I fear the Ship will creak and leak

Shoring I need, in this losing streak

In the distance is the horizon blue

Now paints an unusual hue
Is it something? Cryptic clue?

Jigsaw pieces I need to sew?

This fantasy appears crystal clear

Can't say from real and surreal

"Is it land?" Excited, I squeal

Misguiding, this nature's mural

What if it is not there? I fear

Fearsome storm to hit, I hear

The hull will hold, I hear them cheer

"Before the woman's wrath?" I silently jeer 

She has come. Hits us with waves tall

It is certain that I'm meant to fall

Panic strikes; Pushed against the wall

To stand again. I pray and haul

With the masses, I join to hope

"Me" and "I" no more the scope

Time to enrich and not to mope

The joy of being; to this truth, I awoke

Dawn breaks, storm settled, we still sail

Shore approaches, great stories entail

I see birds in the sky, "Oh, swell"

But, how long's their flight? Time will tell

What really awaits? What's to explore?

I don't know; "Do me good" I implore

Thirst's unquenced and heart is sore

But first, I ask "Take me ashore"

And I simply move on with the journey still

Thinking. Imagining. There won't be time to kill

Anxious. What's in the farms that I will till?

It is said. "There is way where there's will"

Thirst's unquenched and heart is sore

Storm will hit again and darkness will soar

But, before that, take me ashore

Take me ashore. Take me ashore

Best wishes to you both, May the love you share lasts till the eternity, As you make a wonderful pair. *fireworks* xD

Thanks a ton Vittal for beautiful guest post. :)

It's just the phase

I run with bleeding feet,
Breathing the unheard treat,
An urge for tears to show up,
Why this feeling is cropping up?
May be a sign of being an adult,
Emotions are being subject to cult,
Roller coaster spree is killing inside,
Chopping the veins to have him beside.
Gigantic headache & lump in throat,
Each day I slowly rot,
I know I cannot be his desire,
For he has plenty of pretty faces to hire.
As we laugh of at stupid jokes,
Somewhere the silent winds mock,
Weird this phase has become,
I wish I could call him my handsome.