Stroke of Remembrance

I felt trapped in a bubble wrap of jealousy.I woke up early today just to watch the raindrops coming down the window pane.Such mornings are beautiful, Isn't it?When i was a child i used to eagerly wait for rains to shower its blessings continuously until dad declare in sleepy voice "Baarish toh ruk hi nahi rahi hai chalo aaj chutti karlo warna beemar pad jaoge." Gone are the days when we used to have special rainy day breakfast including the hot jalebi's and pakore.Even now Maa never deny to prepare the same but then it doesn't have the flavour of togetherness.We miss him.We miss amma and baba.Only we know how it feels to lose 4 important family members one by one in merely span of 3 months.Just one stroke and it washed away everything.Its been almost 3 years but hardly there's any day we don't remember them.Papa's phone is still papa's phone, Amma's kitchen is still amma's kitchen, baba's room is still baba's room & maa keep talking about Naani too.Everything has changed yet somethings are still same.We may appear to be doing fine but the emptiness has created its mark which can never ever be replaced.There are days when i feel so miserable that i feel like running away from home and taking a shelter far away from the voices echoing in head but at the end of the day when I'm home it gives a sigh of relief that at least their memories do the talking.Call me insane because i till date mention my father a lot.Our fights, his over possessiveness, the times when he used to go beyond his pocket just to pamper me, his aspirations and dreams he weaved for me & how i crushed all.Is it necessary for a person to be  alive for being matter of somebody's talk?Duh.

I am determined to stand on my own soon.And this requires education and hard work.I’m now ready to give that.Better late than never right?Meanwhile i would like to take chances, find challenges in life.

 Let’s get mad.