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Monday, May 14, 2012

Late night post

I am being judged, I am being hated, I am loved, I am cared for, but it all doesn’t impress me anymore. I have become used to my own world. I have trashed my world. Now, I am not aware of my grounds, my existence. Either I rebuild, continue or destroy it all forever. The brick by brick effort that I have been putting in my blog, in my writing, it all appears no better than trash. I deleted my blog today. Restored.I am done with the idea of god.I have been building the castles, but I have carefully disguised it all in what I call, living.I have burned the bridges, now I stay stranded on this side all alone while you watch the journey from a world that doesn’t exist anymore, at least for me!Ever been in a situation where you don’t want to talk while you are expected to speak, speak your mind, your heart; however you choke because you know, the more you speak, the more you would be cursed, yet when you choose to stay silent, it hurts.That's what exactly happening these days.May be this is more like creating a noise itself but can't help it. When I feel I am getting dependent on someone or someone is getting way too close, I shut it all off. I just did it today too.That's what i have been doing from years and the reason is unknown to me. The love, emotions, it all is dying deep down for good.May be its the fear,fear of losing...I'm yet to understand the complete picture which I might not even get till the end.No matter who all wish to walk along, no matter who all wish to be part of my life, I walk alone, I rather wake up alone! 
Its 3 a.m. and i guess i should take a good sleep now.Hoping for better day tomorrow.
Good night.

14 comments:

Chocolate Lover said...

Ah, I know that feeling. We go through the same emotion most of the times. *hugs*

Rahul Bhatia said...

Sunakshi, look forward to your posts! Am sure you must be done with your exams now:)

⁂ܓVållῐ ⁂ܓ☺ said...

Sunakshi...Everything will be alright....Take care :)

hewedjoy said...

The more you feel the pain, the more stronger you get. Take care. And awesomely written .

hewedjoy said...

The more you feel the pain, the more stronger you get. Take care. And awesomely written .

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niharika arora said...

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Muhammad Israr said...

why you deleted your blog :( i am glad you restored it... in the total darkness surrounding us, we could do with some pearls....:) i wish you should write on and on and on :) have a nice week...

Zeebs said...

Randomly came across your blog while blogwalking, and I love it! You've got a new follower :)

Anonymous said...

I think that you can compose much on this issue, it mightiness not certainly be a prejudice circumstance but normally grouping are certainly not sufficiency to be able to utter upon much topics.

Muhammad Israr said...

no new pearls in the darkness :( hope everything is okay at your end...

Bikramjit said...

Hope you are having better days now .. Take care
and alls well that ends well ..



Bikram's

Anonymous said...

Very interesting article. It helps me a lot.

Anonymous said...


Very intriguing points you have noted, appreciate this for adding.

*★.• The moment you get attached to things you screw it up! The challenge of life is to appreciate everything and attach yourself to nothing. *★.•
This blog is my private territory.The content posted here do not represent your life or perspective- just mine.Your disagreement, irritation at any content posted over this blog doesn't give ample ground for you to post nasty,bitchy messages/comments.Furthermore I'm free to post anything i pleases to, which is not under any copyright restrictions,so you can't squeal until it's your own stuff.